10 Annoying People You'll See at Your Office Holiday Party
- The Close Talker No matter what obstacle you put between yourself and him, the Close Talker finds a way to stand within a foot of your face, uncomfortably infringing on your bubble of personal space. You politely ease yourself back, and he, of course, takes a step (or a lean) forward, as if the two of you are engaged in a tango of awkwardness. It's as if he thinks that you can't possibly understand what he's saying unless his warm, rank breath is bathing your...
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The Drunk Guy
He's had way too much drink, and too quickly. In fact, he probably started "pregaming" for the holiday party. Necessary? Probably not, but it's who he is. His sloppiness and liquor-coated breath establish a natural barrier between himself and the person he thinks he's talking to. We appreciate the courage that it must take to get really sloshed in front of the people who sign your pay check. But hey, it's a party right?
- The Slutty Girl You see her from a distance and know that you're safe, but only because you brought a date this year. (Or are you?) For others, their fate is uncertain. She looks around the room, pinpoints her next target, takes a swig of liquid courage, and slowly saunters towards a group of single male co-workers. She may not go home with the first few that she chats up, but believe it, she'll go home with someone, and it might just be the guy in the...
- The Pick-Up Artist As soon as he walks through the door, he's instantly surrounded by girls. Why? How? We don't know. Some guys just reek of sexy charm, or their self-confidence proves irresistible for some incomprehensible reason. He can take his time picking out which girl he wants to take home and then cleverly say something to get her attention. Just like that, his work is done. Don't be jealous of him. Be mystified, and applaud his awesomeness. In fact,...
- That Guy He is indeed 'That Guy.' He's the one who's always in the middle of the largest group, telling an outrageous story as folks circle around him and bask in his glow. He loves the spotlight so much that he tells himself that he's the most popular and best-loved employee. Some folks might get annoyed at this behavior and such an egotistical way of thinking, but when the day is done, he can be engaging and entertaining, if overbearing. Either way,...
- The Brown Noser Accept it. There will always be that person who uses the holiday office party as a way to suck up to the big man. She compliments the boss's business acumen, flatters his wife, and raves about his car. Sure, everyone else brought a small present, but this person staggers in beneath the weight of 700-gram Turkish cotton spa bathrobes for him and his entire family. Really? Yes, your boss mentioned once a while back that he admires them when...
- The Over-Sharer You had what removed? From where? Ewwww...Yes, it's true; one person will always use company parties as his own therapy or show-and-tell session. You may not want to hear what the doctor told him about his childhood traumas or that pesky rash — or worse — but you don't really have a choice. Once he gets an open ear, it's off to the races. Honestly, a holiday party is a great chance to get to know colleagues better — but not that much....
- The One-Upper You tell a coworker that you had a small fender bender the other day, and then it happens. She shows up out of nowhere, as if by magic, to tell you that she, too, got into a wreck the other day that involved three cars, all totaled, no survivors. You look at her curiously, knowing her story is a lie, but just nod in acceptance, because no matter what you say next, she's going to have a 'better' response. There's little victory in her game of...
- Debbie Downer No matter what you say, she'll find the downside or discover something to complain about. She never smiles or makes eye contact. You can try to make her laugh, but all you'll get is a shrug and a sigh. Once, you thought you heard her say something uplifting, but it was shortly crushed by a negative comment. She acts as if she has the weight of the world on her shoulders, but she should really have some eggnog and get over it. At least for the...
- The Spouse She comes to every company occasion, always dressed prim and proper and always polite. She rarely speaks, and her entire m.o. consists of standing discreetly to the side, quietly smiling. You may not know who she comes with, or what her name is, or really why she's around at all, but you know that she will always be there, just like you know that the sun will rise in the morning. If this happens to be you, hey, a thought: Introduce yourself!
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Happy Holidays!
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