2. Germaine's Luau

The shuttle made 1 stop so we all had to get to 1 hotel. We passed industrial buildings, but we couldn't see them once inside. When seated we also couldn't see the water. Not like the pictures- cheap shell leis, small drinks, fire dancer, plastic skirts and flowers, lots of audience pulled to "perform". If you could keep the flies away long enough to eat, the pork was good. Beef tasteless,chicken greasy, coconut jello just gross and cake dry. It says all you can eat, but I asked for the beef and pork and got them with a disapproving look from the server. The line was too long to consider seconds. But this is nothing compared to the rude customer service. We booked months ago for 70+ people. First to arrive, we found 3 tables reserved to us- furthest from the water, in direct sun, on the side of the stage. This was not enough room for us and some couldn't see due to the rubbertrees around the stage. We noticed many tables not reserved so we took our signs and moved. This woman got right in my face yelling at me that those seats aren't for us, they're for people coming in paying $65. We had to go to the seats assigned because we came with a group and paid a discount ($4). Nobody ever told us by booking as a group we would have inferior seating. Apparently second class citizens,"that's what we get for being in a group and we should accept it because a track team also got bad seats on the other side of the stage". I am not kidding that all this is coming at the top of her lungs. While I'm trying to explain to her that we are concerned there isn't enough space and the young kids will be sitting in the sun, our sign blows from my hand. She will not listen and gets closer to me with a threatening stare repeatedly bellows at me to pick up the sign. Not wanting to ruin it for our kids, or risk bodily injury, I picked up the sign and went back to our table. A nice young girl claiming to be the manager came and told us moving would be no problem! We just couldn't take our signs so other groups wouldn't think we'd received preferential treatment and the kids could sit on the ground in front of the stage to help with the space. That's all the first woman ever needed to say. So I'm angry and crying at that woman's threatening, demeaning behavior. Later a man came and identified himself as the manager (who was the girl?). He gave me a free drink and tried to brush off his employee's behavior saying she just thought I was some one else. I tried to tell him no, we were the only group there and I was the one with the sign but he did not care to hear it and insisted she did not mean to be yelling at me but someone else. I don't find coming out yelling at any customer to be appropriate behavior. Had this man even apologized I probably would have accepted it. He never apologized! I felt insulted, demeaned, and threatened for my safety. It ruined my vacation and I will never return to Germaine's!

My wife and I recently visited Honolulu for the first time and the one major disappointment was Germaine's luau. Even though it was raining, we were not given the option of rescheduling or a refund. Instead, we were all handed a thin plastic poncho and shuffled into the seating area like cattle. We basically had to find our on seats on uncovered wooden picnic tables while it was pouring rain. We were then instructed table by table to line up for the buffet food which included roasted pork. We had to use plastic forks, knives, and plates and we had almost no room to eat on the park benches. All this time, the staff were taking shelter under the covered bar and drink areas and the show began. The actors and dancers tried to put on the best show they could and obviously were trying to ignore the rain. If that wasn't bad enough, they turned out the lights about 5 mins after we started eating and basically we were left to eat in the dark. My wife and I decided to move to one of the covered drink/concession areas and finished watching the show. I could think of many better ways to enjoy an evening in Hawaii and to spend $110 USD.

Very pedestrian. The best part of this luau was the luxury bus ride to/from the hotel, complete with guide, and the endlessly available (but mediocre) mai-tais. The masses of people made it quite the mob-tourist thing, and the buffet was really blah --- chocolate pudding is "Hawaiian"?! Give me a break. The show was showy, but very "unauthentic" - coconut bras?…