4. Lobster Pot

Appalling Service - Worst dining experience in my life
Took friends who were visiting from abroad. Biggest mistake ever and worst dinning experience of my life. Totally disgusted with service and attitude of staff. We noticed an unfriendly atmosphere when we first entered. Asked member of staff (only one taking orders – who we discovered was the owner - wife) to take our order only to be ignored and had to ask a further two times. Did not get my drink when finally ordered and had to ask two more times. Half an hour into our meal we were offered bread which we were all offered one slice each and then confiscated, rationing of one slice per person. When we ordered starter of two full seafood platter £25 each plus dozen oysters, we were told that there was no crab as we were late arriving (we were 10 minutes late – such sarcasm we did not need). Could not even offer us a reasonable alternative, but a few prawns in exchange. When the platter came out the platter seemed so minimum it looked like one platter with small shrimps and welks which seem smaller than the size of my thumb nail which were not edible and were only good for display. Half way through our starter (approx 9.30pm) the chef came out Herve Regent came out and asked us how was are meal (an introduction) to ask us or rather tell us we needed to order our mains and that if we did not he would not take our orders. We asked what time the restaurant closed and he could not answer us. We expressed our disappointment in service and how we had been rushed to eat and order and that we would not be returning Mr Regent told us that he was glad to hear which I found very absolutely shocked and unprofessional. We decided to ask for the bill and leave. Furthermore, I was even more disgusted to find we were charged a further 12.5% service charge which we declined as we definitely did not feel that they deserve it. We felt that the whole experience had been a complete nightmare and we were constantly rushed to order our mains as if he was concerned that we would not make the minimum spend of £28 per person. All he seemed concerned about was taking our money. Well it says on one of the reviews that Herve Regent started off as a dishwasher, I think he and his wife (the waitress serving us) should have stuck to that as he definitely did not know how to look after or serve his customers. On another note, I have understand from his wife (the waitress) that the business had been running for 18 years and clearly I can see how they must be doing extremely well to be still based in Kennington with him as chef and his wife as the only waitress allowed to take orders. The restaurant is so small my bedroom is bigger. Well if his business is doing so well why was it half empty on a Saturday night? Ummmm….? Why has the business not expanded????? And why is he still in the kitchen cooking and the wife working as the waitress?...... Truly amazing…. Well that says it all. The whole experience seemed like something out of “Faulty Towers”. In the words of Cybil Fawlty “You know why they are cheap, don't you Basil? Because they are no bloody good!”.