4. Balans

Balans manages to put Bland back into the Beach. The ambience is predictable and the restaurant as a whole, certainly offers nothing to set it apart from the dozens of others that ply their trade on South Beach’s Lincoln Road. However, the service was prompt, if a little fussy. My date and I decided on a tapas-style meal and ordered four dishes from the appetizer menu that included the wilted garlic spinach, fried calamari, the Greek plate and mixed vegetables. The wilted garlic spinach arrived first and was the best for the four dishes – It was hot, but the meal went downhill from there. This dish can easily be made in a few minutes, and is delicious when prepared using fresh crushed garlic, a little sea salt and a sprinkling of nutmeg, none of which were apparent in the insipid, watery serving we sampled. Next up were the “mixed” vegetables that consisted of what looked some else’s leftover eggplant with a couple of slices of squash thrown in – it arrived cold. The Greek plate was a complete mistake – three globs of bland mush, served with several strips of supermarket pita bread. Finally, a warmed-over plate of fried calamari crowned an experience that can only be described as disappointing at best. Balans offers diner food to the budget minded, in a confused atmosphere that attempts to be hip, but essentially fails. There are so many other restaurant choices in South Beach, I suggest a trip to Balans should be reserved for when the mother-in-law comes to town – peace-of-mind is only one check away.