Wearing face masks of themselves, they are (left to right) Magne Furuholmen of A-ha, Coldplay's Guy Berryman, Jonas Bjerre of Mew, record producer Martin Terefe. — Photo courtesy of Evy Andersen
Four rock stars want a night with you in Oslo, Norway. At The Thief Hotel, guests can light up their bed with Guy Berryman, bassist for Coldplay. Or perhaps Magne Furuholmen, musician/songwriter for Norwegian group A-ha. To make your luscious bedmate appear, you'll have to do some clicking on a remote, then a ceiling-mounted projector sends the image to the sheets. Choose from one of four rockers–all of whom are musicians in Apparatjik, noted for its highly visual performances in Europe, as well as albums, "We are Here" and "Square Peg in a Round Hole."
He may be unidimensional, but your rock star looks buff in his soft-sculpture muscle suit. Plus he rolls around and whispers sweet nothings. — Photo courtesy of Anton Bjorkman
Saucy But Safe
Your "date" will stretch and yawn as the video rolls, and wriggle around and reposition himself. He may even utter sweet nothings, but use your imagination on that. There's no audio.
There's also nothing x-rated going on with this man doing his sleepy time routine. But there are surprises. "A cheeky little wink and the occasional beckoning can occur,” said musician Furuholmen. It was his artistic vision that created the fantasy-granting Apparatjik Suite in Oslo's The Thief Hotel.
The guest's dilemma is whom to choose among the four. Besides Berryman and Furuholmen, one might fall for the charms of singer/guitarist Jonas Bjerre of Danish alternative rock group Mew and Swedish drummer/record producer Martin Terefe whose luminous credit list includes Cat Stevens and Mary J. Blige.
Norway's Mags Furuholmen confesses with mock seriousness, “We of course keep an internal ‘score’ to see who is the more popular choice.”
![You have to love a guy who lets you shower first, and your bedmates in The Thief's Apparatjik Suite guarantee that favor.]()
You have to love a guy who lets you shower first, and your bedmates in The Thief's Apparatjik Suite guarantee that favor. — Photo courtesy of Evy Andersen
Vikings On Steroids
Your sheet-sizzling date certainly does wear odd apparel. Those viking horns, that flashy combat suit squeezed over a soft-sculpture muscle suit. The outfit is performance gear Apparatjik has worn in concert. It is a bit scary-looking, like Norwegian Vikings' time machine broke down in the 80s at an iron-pumping gym.
![The Thief hotel looks out on a fjord from a new part of Oslo.]()
The Thief hotel looks out on a fjord from a new part of Oslo. — Photo courtesy of The Thief Hotel
Sweet Suite
Apparatjik Suite at The Thief offers more entertainment, including the lads’ favorite vinyls to spin on a record player. The suite's walls are decked with Apparatjik's signed prints and memorabilia.
The view is lovely, with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out on a Norwegian fjord as well as a Renzo Piano-designed museum, the Astrup Fearnley. The contemporary museum loans pieces to The Thief. Pop-up exhibits make an occasional appearance in The Thief's hallways and even the parking garage.
Not that The Thief needs to borrow art; the hotel owns the most highly insured art collection of any hotel in the world. An Andy Warhol painting and a Jeff Koons sculpture add visual heat to the The Thief's Michelin-starred restaurant, Fru K. Each of The Thief's 118 guest rooms boasts original art as well.
Despite the hotel's name, the art has not been purloined. The Thief is named for its location on Oslo's Thief Island where thieves once roamed in the 18th century.
